Jokes.

Nov. 23rd, 2018 08:30 pm
olindom: (Default)
[personal profile] olindom
 Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 
 A: It's okay. He woke up.
 
Pat

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? 
A: Because he was always spotted.

 
lovebite

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

 
Bill Mills

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

 
Anonymous


Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 
A: Envelope.

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