Dirty Jokes.
Dec. 27th, 2017 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olindom Grabbing Nuts
A young boy walks up to his mom grabbing his nuts. The boy stares at them puzzled for quite some time.
Finally his mom asks him ,"Whats wrong hunny?"
The boy replies by saying,"Mom....are these my brains?
And his mom says,"Not yet dear."
Confession
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,
so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the
old priest asks him to step out of the confessional
for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your
chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new
priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try
saying things like, 'I see", 'Yes, go on' and 'I
understand.' 'How did you feel about that?'" The new priest practices, saying these phrases.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?'"
Gift For Wives
Two men are sitting at a bar. One impeccably dressed in an Armani suit the other in his work clothes.
The business man turns to the other and says " I bought my wife a brand new BMW and a 5 carat diamond for mother's day"
The worker looks confused and say "Why two such extravagant gifts?"
"Well...if she decides she doesn't like the ring she can drive her BMW back to Tiffany's and exchange it for what she would prefer"
"Oh" says the worker" I did something similar for my wife"
"How so?" says the business man
"Well I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo"
The business man looked truly confused
"Well..ye see..if she doesn't like the slippers she can go F*** herself"
A young boy walks up to his mom grabbing his nuts. The boy stares at them puzzled for quite some time.
Finally his mom asks him ,"Whats wrong hunny?"
The boy replies by saying,"Mom....are these my brains?
And his mom says,"Not yet dear."
Confession
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,
so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the
old priest asks him to step out of the confessional
for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your
chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new
priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try
saying things like, 'I see", 'Yes, go on' and 'I
understand.' 'How did you feel about that?'" The new priest practices, saying these phrases.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?'"
Gift For Wives
Two men are sitting at a bar. One impeccably dressed in an Armani suit the other in his work clothes.
The business man turns to the other and says " I bought my wife a brand new BMW and a 5 carat diamond for mother's day"
The worker looks confused and say "Why two such extravagant gifts?"
"Well...if she decides she doesn't like the ring she can drive her BMW back to Tiffany's and exchange it for what she would prefer"
"Oh" says the worker" I did something similar for my wife"
"How so?" says the business man
"Well I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo"
The business man looked truly confused
"Well..ye see..if she doesn't like the slippers she can go F*** herself"
