Jokes.

[olindom]

 

Late Night Alcohol Lecture

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An elderly man was staggering down the street and stopped by a police officer who asked, "Just where are you going at 1:30 in the morning?"

The man said, "To an alcohol lecture."

The cop asked, "Where is it and who is giving it?"

The man said, "It's at my house, and my wife is giving it."
 

The Flat Tire

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Yesterday I had a flat tire on the highway, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life-like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my life-like men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn't long before an OPP pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.

"Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I told him, "Hello-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers."