Think again. Jokes.
Nov. 4th, 2017 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olindom Buffalo Theory.
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster. The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.
Cobbled Street .
Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles"
Phone Call .
Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind to their relatives about its harsh conditions
Their Nationalities were American, Italian and Ethiopian. So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss.
So the American made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then an Italian made a call and the Devil made him to pay 10 Euros on fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA. LASTLY an Ethiopian made a call and the Devil made him to pay a cent Both the American and Italian complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them "The Ethiopian call was a local call whereas your was an International call"
Antonio.
Old Antonio, is a tight ass with his money, reckons he is going to take all his money with him when he dies. Maria, his good wife of many years, protests profusely, "Antonio, you cannota take da money, what about me and da children?" Antonio replies: "Screw you bitch, its my money and I earned it!" So duly on the day of Antonio's funeral, Maria and the kids are crying over pappas coffin, when one of the children speaks up: "Momma you didn't give pappa the money did you?" Maria replied: "Yes I gave the dead bastard his fucking money, it's in a cheque, let's see him cash that!"
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster. The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.
Cobbled Street .
Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles"
Phone Call .
Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind to their relatives about its harsh conditions
Their Nationalities were American, Italian and Ethiopian. So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss.
So the American made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then an Italian made a call and the Devil made him to pay 10 Euros on fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA. LASTLY an Ethiopian made a call and the Devil made him to pay a cent Both the American and Italian complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them "The Ethiopian call was a local call whereas your was an International call"
Antonio.
Old Antonio, is a tight ass with his money, reckons he is going to take all his money with him when he dies. Maria, his good wife of many years, protests profusely, "Antonio, you cannota take da money, what about me and da children?" Antonio replies: "Screw you bitch, its my money and I earned it!" So duly on the day of Antonio's funeral, Maria and the kids are crying over pappas coffin, when one of the children speaks up: "Momma you didn't give pappa the money did you?" Maria replied: "Yes I gave the dead bastard his fucking money, it's in a cheque, let's see him cash that!"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-05 07:14 am (UTC)Спасибо. А то, я такая необразованная.