Black Humor
Oct. 1st, 2017 08:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olindom You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
***
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
***
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
-
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
***
Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!
***
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
***
“You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
***
Oh daddy, I love you so much!
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!
***
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
***
"Madam, your son just called me ugly!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
***
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
***
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
-
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
***
Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!
***
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
***
“You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
***
Oh daddy, I love you so much!
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!
***
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
***
"Madam, your son just called me ugly!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
