Jokes d'jour.
Sep. 25th, 2017 12:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olindom Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
***
Man to his wife:
I’d never say you’re fat! You’re just a bit more visible.
***
Dark, the side of this toast is. (Yoda at breakfast)
What would you call a person who had no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”
I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself. At least I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than 3.50 in her wallet.
***
I never hold my farts in. Only assholes do that.
***
Here, I bought you a calendar. Your days are numbered now.
Where do fish sleep?
-
In the RiverBed.
Talk is cheap, yeah? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?!
My wife’s driving test went surprisingly well yesterday. She got 7 out of 12. The 5 managed to run to safety.
I called the hospital, but the line was dead.
Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?
-
Wife: Michael, I’m over here!
Do you know a tree’s favorite drink?
-
Root beer!
What did one plate say to his friend?
-
Tonight, dinner’s on me!
***
Man to his wife:
I’d never say you’re fat! You’re just a bit more visible.
***
Dark, the side of this toast is. (Yoda at breakfast)
What would you call a person who had no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”
I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself. At least I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than 3.50 in her wallet.
***
I never hold my farts in. Only assholes do that.
***
Here, I bought you a calendar. Your days are numbered now.
Where do fish sleep?
-
In the RiverBed.
Talk is cheap, yeah? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?!
My wife’s driving test went surprisingly well yesterday. She got 7 out of 12. The 5 managed to run to safety.
I called the hospital, but the line was dead.
Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?
-
Wife: Michael, I’m over here!
Do you know a tree’s favorite drink?
-
Root beer!
What did one plate say to his friend?
-
Tonight, dinner’s on me!
