Настроение.

[olindom]

Странное у меня настроение, слезливое, чуйствительное... Нет, я воли себе не дам, и соплей пускать не буду.
Пойду искать анекдоты...

At a Plastic-Surgery-Addicts-Anonymous meeting:
“Ah, I see we have a few new faces here today.”
***
How do T-Rexes high five each other?
They don’t. They’re all dead.
***
I’m not happy with this and I’d like to exchange it please!
Come again? That’s your bank statement Mr Dibbley!
I said exchange it!!!
***
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.
***
Man with a beard 100 years ago: “OK, I’ll go chop down some trees.”
Man with a beard now: “I found a great face mask that’s gluten-free.”
***
The Judge asks the defendant, “When is your birthday Mr McKenzie?“
“February 20th, Your Honor.”
“And what year?”
“Every year, Your Honor.”
***
Three doctors are talking about death.
The first, a dentist, says, “When I die, I think I’d like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.”
“Hey,” adds the cardiologist, “that’s not a bad idea, I’d love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…”
The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, “I think scattering of the ashes is my option.”