Jokes.

[olindom]

 

I hate my mood swings.

 They're great!

********

 Honey, do you think I'm fat?

 Weeeell, let's put it this way: You're the greatest!

*********

 The boss said I should go home because I really don't look good. I
don't know if I should be happy to get the extra rest, or just offended.

 It’s been 412 days since I’ve been with a girl... I had to go jogging in flip-flops yesterday to at least remind myself of the sound…

 I met an amazing man at a party on Saturday. Wonderful listener, great looking... I gave him my number and winked at him to call me when he gets home. It’s been 4 days, I’m really starting to worry the poor guy is homeless.

 “Have you got anything to drink?” “Water.” “I meant something harder?” “Ice.”

 What do people like to wear in England? - Tea-shirts.

 Internet discussion:

 user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I’M NEW HERE!

user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.

 user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON’T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!!!

 

 

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Comments

[paserbyp]

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
—
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
—
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
—
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
—
I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away.

[chuka_lis]

)))