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olindom Skydiving
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver - by this time scared out of his wits - yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "Fuck no! Do you know anything about lighting gas stoves?"
**********
Peaches
So one day this man named Sam was driving down the freeway and he sees a sign "Any flavor peach next exit" , so Sam is quite curious and takes the next exit.. Walks up to this man name Jeff and Sam says to him: " I want a banana flavored peach", Jeff Says "oh thats easy" and throws him a banana flavored peach. Sam Bites into it and it taste just like a banana.
Sam really wants to get this guy so he says "Alright i want a peanut butter and jelly flavored peach", Jeff Throws him the peach Sam bites into it and Says "I can taste the peanut butter but wheres the Jelly?".
Jeff says to him "Oh you just have to turn it around". and he does it taste like jelly.. So Sam really wants to get Jeff like Badly and he says ok "I want a PUSSY flavored peach!" .
Jeff throws it over to Sam, he bites into it spits it out "OOhHH That taste like Shit!" Jeff says oh you just have to turn it around!
************
Red Dildo
A woman goes into a sex shop and asks the salesmen where the vibrators are and the sales man points to one of the walls so she walks over to them and she sees a very nice and big red one She asks the sales man "How much is this one?" He replies "It's not for sale luv its a fire extingisher"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty905.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty624.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty939.html
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver - by this time scared out of his wits - yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "Fuck no! Do you know anything about lighting gas stoves?"
**********
Peaches
So one day this man named Sam was driving down the freeway and he sees a sign "Any flavor peach next exit" , so Sam is quite curious and takes the next exit.. Walks up to this man name Jeff and Sam says to him: " I want a banana flavored peach", Jeff Says "oh thats easy" and throws him a banana flavored peach. Sam Bites into it and it taste just like a banana.
Sam really wants to get this guy so he says "Alright i want a peanut butter and jelly flavored peach", Jeff Throws him the peach Sam bites into it and Says "I can taste the peanut butter but wheres the Jelly?".
Jeff says to him "Oh you just have to turn it around". and he does it taste like jelly.. So Sam really wants to get Jeff like Badly and he says ok "I want a PUSSY flavored peach!" .
Jeff throws it over to Sam, he bites into it spits it out "OOhHH That taste like Shit!" Jeff says oh you just have to turn it around!
************
Red Dildo
A woman goes into a sex shop and asks the salesmen where the vibrators are and the sales man points to one of the walls so she walks over to them and she sees a very nice and big red one She asks the sales man "How much is this one?" He replies "It's not for sale luv its a fire extingisher"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty905.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty624.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty939.html
