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olindom Southwest Airlines
A girl is on an airplane with her mom and asks her, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, then why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mom smiles and tells her daughter to ask the stewardess.
The stewardess comes over and the the little girl asks her the same question, she asked her mother. The stewardess asks the girl, if her mom told her to ask her, and the little girl replied "Yes."
Then the stewardess says "Well, that's because Southwest Airlines always pull out on time!"
The Fireman
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had small ladders hung on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden hose coiled up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy, what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster." Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd lose my siren!"
******
Heating Bill
So there was this farmer, his son, and the only animal on their farm that survived the winter: a duck.
One day the farmer is sittin' down paying off last month's heating bill, when he realized that they were broke. He told his son to go into town and sell the duck for as much money that he could get. So the boy started off to town. He came up to a prostitute that was uglier than the ass of the duck he carried in his arms. The hooker looked straight at the boy and said, "The fucking begins at $10, you got $10?" The boy had no money, so he started to walk away, but the hooker stopped him and said that she would accept that duck in his hands instead of $10. The boy gleefully accepted, so they went off and had sex. An hour later, as the boy was leaving, the hooker pleaded that he fuck her again , because it was the best fucking of her life. She offered him the duck back, and they went at it again. Another hour passes, and the boy heads home, duck in hand. On the way, the duck gets spooked and flies from the boy's hands. It flew directly into the path of an oncoming car, obliterating the duck. The man driving gets out and appologizes for the boy's duck. The man hands the boy 25 dollars for his trouble and goes on his way. Later, the boy goes home and hands his father 25 dollars. The father notices that his son looks exhausted and asks him, "What happened?" The boy's reply was this: "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 25 bucks for a fucked up duck."
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty766.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty960.html
A girl is on an airplane with her mom and asks her, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, then why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mom smiles and tells her daughter to ask the stewardess.
The stewardess comes over and the the little girl asks her the same question, she asked her mother. The stewardess asks the girl, if her mom told her to ask her, and the little girl replied "Yes."
Then the stewardess says "Well, that's because Southwest Airlines always pull out on time!"
The Fireman
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had small ladders hung on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden hose coiled up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy, what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster." Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd lose my siren!"
******
Heating Bill
So there was this farmer, his son, and the only animal on their farm that survived the winter: a duck.
One day the farmer is sittin' down paying off last month's heating bill, when he realized that they were broke. He told his son to go into town and sell the duck for as much money that he could get. So the boy started off to town. He came up to a prostitute that was uglier than the ass of the duck he carried in his arms. The hooker looked straight at the boy and said, "The fucking begins at $10, you got $10?" The boy had no money, so he started to walk away, but the hooker stopped him and said that she would accept that duck in his hands instead of $10. The boy gleefully accepted, so they went off and had sex. An hour later, as the boy was leaving, the hooker pleaded that he fuck her again , because it was the best fucking of her life. She offered him the duck back, and they went at it again. Another hour passes, and the boy heads home, duck in hand. On the way, the duck gets spooked and flies from the boy's hands. It flew directly into the path of an oncoming car, obliterating the duck. The man driving gets out and appologizes for the boy's duck. The man hands the boy 25 dollars for his trouble and goes on his way. Later, the boy goes home and hands his father 25 dollars. The father notices that his son looks exhausted and asks him, "What happened?" The boy's reply was this: "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 25 bucks for a fucked up duck."
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty766.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/random/dirty960.html
no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 10:17 pm (UTC)